She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
