like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
