Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
