I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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