This girl is more easily done than said...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize