cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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