He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
