You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
another moral hangover. fuck.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
