JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize