I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
