I just cut my nipple shaving
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
