You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
