we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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