You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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