Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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