i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
