nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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