Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
