i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize