Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
ttyl tear gas
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize