You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
