You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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