Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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