Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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