i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize