just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
This house was built for laser tag.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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