Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
wow bdsm is so cute
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