I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My vagina just clenched in fear
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