You're so nebulous sometimes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it because I queefed?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
