Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
