I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
