i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
