I've blown a few things in my day
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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