Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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