next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
