I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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