remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize