maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just forgot I was standing up.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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