I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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