could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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