Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
