I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
