I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize