How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
