In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
