I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
