literally had 100 drinks last night.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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