you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
