He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
