it's like iHOP with fire
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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