On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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