So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish i was in the wii world.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
