just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
