did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
