You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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