theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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