Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
