WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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