please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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