Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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