The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm like, not good at living.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
