her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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