She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
