the condom got lost in my hair
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize