just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
