if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
