Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
