thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
