My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
