yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She even gives head with a lisp.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
