I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize