dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When are your genitals available?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
