woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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