It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
